


ExR angst

by childrenofthebarricade



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Molly hurts her babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:49:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childrenofthebarricade/pseuds/childrenofthebarricade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before the barricades fall, Enjolras finds Grantaire in the wineshop and tries to convince him to leave the barricades. Neither one of them wants to die, but the thing is, they also can't bear to live in a world without the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ExR angst

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this late at night in an attempt to hurt my friends, and I ended up hurting myself. Anyway, it's short, unbetaed, and written in like 30 minutes, so it may be terrible! enjoy!  
> Oh, also this is inspired by these wonderful poems by spacekidvevo:  
> http://spacekidvevo.tumblr.com/post/118742587998/step-one-everyone-trembles-at-the-sight-of-you  
> http://spacekidvevo.tumblr.com/post/118762758423/step-one-just-so-that-theres-no-confusion-this

On the last night before the barricades fell, Enjolras found Grantaire hiding in a corner of the wineshop. His head was bowed and there was a half empty bottle of something in his hand, and at first glance he seemed to be sleeping. Then Enjolras stepped closer and saw that his body shaking with tiny sobs. “Grantaire?”Enjolras called quietly, and Grantaire looked up in surprise. His eyes were rimmed with red, but they were dry.

“Enjolras?” his voice was tired and rough. “Don’t you have a revolution to run?” Enjolras ignored this, walking closer to sit down beside him and take his hand. Again, Grantaire looked surprised, but he still clutched Enjolras’s hand as if his very touch could keep him alive.

“I’m sorry,” Enjolras whispered. _I’m sorry you followed us this far. I’m sorry I failed you and all our friends. I’m sorry you are going to die because of me._

Grantaire didn’t respond, just turned to bury his face in Enjolras’s neck. He smelled like gunpowder and grime. Even here, there was no escaping the fate that was coming for them as swiftly as the night. Grantaire squeezed his eyes closed, trying not to think about the fact that in a few hours time, the man beside might be no more than a cold corpse. It broke his heart to think of the light draining out of those brightly shining eyes.

“You should leave,” Enjolras whispered, and Grantaire overcame his fear and glanced up to look him in the face. Enjolras, for once, looked as broken as Grantaire felt. It would have been almost refreshing to see their great leader fall apart, if it hadn’t been so terrible as well. “You have to leave.”

“Never,” Grantaire responded, hand tightening on his bottle in anger. “I know you don’t think highly of me, but if you think that I’m just going to-”

Grantaire meant to launch into an almost Enjolras-esque rant, ( _oh, how the tables turn,_ he thought) but Enjolras cut him off. “I can’t watch you die.” His voice was a shattered whisper, but it still managed to stop Grantaire in his tracks. He took a deep breath and leaned forward to touch his forehead to Enjolras’s. Enjolras screwed his eyes and pressed into the touch as if he were trying to crack open Grantaire’s skull and see into his brain, and all Grantaire could think was that he was far too beautiful to die. But however he joked, Grantaire knew that his god was only flesh and blood, that he would break and bleed like anyone else. Enjolras was only marble from afar; up close, he was all too human.

“And do you really think that I could ever live in a world without you, Apollo?” Grantaire murmured after a long moment had passed. He meant to sound steady and gentle, but his voice was rough and collapsed on the last word. One of them was shaking, or maybe both of them were. _Or maybe_ , thought Grantaire, _the whole world is falling apart, and we are the only ones staying still._ He gave a strangled half-laugh, half-sob and pressed his hand to the back of Enjolras’s head, carding his hands through his gold curls.

“I always thought you would be scared to die, but I never dreamed of this. It’s my job to be scared for you, Enjolras, not the other way around.”

“I’ve always been scared for you, I’m just better at hiding it." The words were more breath than sound. "Please leave, Grantaire. Please.” Enjolras's eyes were full of pain. Agian, Grantaire saw a sudden vision of that face going stiff, those eyes going cold, and it was as if a bullet had pierced his belly already. There was no world in existence where he could ever survive a life without his Enjolras.

“I never could. I’m sorry, Enjolras, but that is the one thing on Earth I could never do for you.”


End file.
